Assuming you’re someone’s mother…#SOLSC24 16/31

Posted on by Glenda Funk

His initials are NT, and he offered to show me the online judging platform I’d be using for the first time Friday at the sixth district speech tournament.

I assume you’re someone’s mother, N said as he sat down in the chair next to mine.

You know what they say about assuming, don’t you? I asked.

I smiled in anticipation of the lesson I’d soon be teaching N in exchange for the one he’d be giving me.

Mmm, you’re not supposed to assume, N replied.

You make an ass out of you and me, I giggled.

Aside: Reader, if you’re unfamiliar with the joke, it’s this: ASS+ U + ME = assume. It’s an oldie but goodie.

I continued: I’m not a mom judge.

As John Green says in the Crash Course videos: It’s time for a thought bubble.

Thought Bubble

As N and I talked I shared my speech and debate cred with him: High school and college debater; coached five years; MA i’m English literature and 27 grad credits in rhetoric.

If eyes could pop out of their sockets and bounce onto the floor, N’s would have.

I shared a couple anecdotes about my coaching days and how things had changed in the world of speech and debate over the years.

N told me about his studies at the U of Idaho, We talked about his goal of supporting his people on the Ft. Hall Reservation and his marketing and business majors.

I told N about the amazing Western Literature Association Conference at the Shoshone-Bannock Convention Center and the poet CMarie Furhman and her poem about land acknowledgments, which I texted to him.

N told me his mom is the event planner for the convention center, so I asked him to share with her how impressed I was with everything about the convention and that I want to see our community support the tribe more with dollars.

When N asked my name for his contact info, I entered it into his iPhone and added Not a Mom Judge on the Company line.

Published by Glenda Funk

I am a retired ELA and speech communication teacher w/ 38 years classroom experience, a NBCT, a Folger TSI alum, an aspiring poet, a dog and cat human, and a frequent traveler. Previously, I blogged at www.evolvingenglishteacher.blogspot.com. Find my senior English curriculum at www.betterlesson.com.

19 thoughts on “Assuming you’re someone’s mother…#SOLSC24 16/31”

  7. This is a great slice. We’ve run into the same in my daughter’s volleyball…parents who just want to help but don’t really know what they are doing. (Me….i don’t know what I’m doing) I imagine it’s frustrating to the people who do know.

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  10. I love your note on his phone in your contact! Now that’s the stuff of fun relationship ribbings. I remember when you went to that conference – – I think it was the beginning of October when I was on Fall Break, and how much you enjoyed it. The Mom Judge is hilarious – – it brings me to this morning when my husband was watching the Opening Day of Baseball Parade in our small rural Georgia town (it’s the Holy Grail here, you know)…..and he said, “Hmmmm…. there’s more people IN the parade than AT the parade,” sounding surprised. I reminded him: all the parents are at the ballfields waiting on the players to arrive for the games (a lot like the mom judges, only coaching and referreeing from the bleachers)…..this is just fun! And the use of the thought bubble is so effective as a visual strategy in your writing, plus the sidebar note. Brilliant! I’m chuckling about the flippant comment and then finding he’s talking to a REAL judge with LOTS of experience.

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  11. Love your post today, Glenda. I hadn’t heard the “Mom Judge” term before, but after reading your definition several women came immediately to my mind. I bet his eyes did pop when you shared your creds! Rock on, Glenda!

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  12. Man, that first comment he said would have gone right over my head. I’m so glad you wrote the thought bubble (for people like me) and described the conversation so thoroughly. I love the sass and spirit, and that you kept on such friendly terms throughout the convo. Go, Glenda!

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    1. I’ve known about mom judges since high school when I competed. They are kind but not competent, and they sometimes make bad judging decisions, which I think happened yesterday in After Dinner Speaking.

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  13. This is a great story in every sense–a gentle retort, genuine respect where it is deserved, and mutual learning. The support of your local indigenous community is just icing on the cake. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face today.

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  14. You showed great patience with this young person. That is a condescending term, and I hope they learned a lesson. Love your good humor with keying in your contact info – they will never forget how they were schooled, lol.

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  16. Oh, I love that line: not a mom judge. I have never heard the phrase before, but it is rich in possibilities. I also like how this piece does not judge mothers: at the end, you acknowledge the work of N’s mother. Finally, thanks for the reference to CMarie Fuhrman’s poem. I just read it and – holy hell – it is excellent. Damn.

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