Antiquated #SOLSC24 26/31

The phone rang. I noticed the call because my watch notified me. Caller i.d. informed me it’s Val, my district’s substitute teacher coordinator.

Correction: I have the sub system in my contacts as Substitute Calling System (Val).

It’s an antiquated system begging to be replaced, but I answered the phone since experience has taught me a couple things: 1. The job offer might be for someone who needs a sub more than one day; 2. The job offer might not be for tomorrow.

This is the Pocatello-Chubbuck substitute calling system calling for Glenda Funk.

I heard my own voice say my name.

The system asked me to enter two numbers. One is my access number. I don’t remember what the other one is called, but I do remember the order. The first number is seven digits long, so I use my phone number for that one. The second number is six digits, so I use my area code and the prefix to my phone number for it.

I try to enter these quickly to avoid having to listen to a long message.

Once I’ve entered the numbers, I get a message:

We have a substitute job available. To listen to the job offer, press one. To decline this job, press three.

If you’re wondering how I can possibly know whether or not I know whether or not I want to decline the job before hearing the job, that’s a good question for which I have no answer.

I always press one.

A recording tells me who the job is for, the grade level or subject, and the school. Some teachers leave special instructions, usually where to park, and I decide whether or not to accept or decline the job. I press one to accept and three to decline.

If I accept the job I’m given a job number and instructed to write it down because I may need it upon my arrival. I never need it upon my arrival. The secretary has it.

If I decline the job I’m required to give a reason for saying NO. I have five options:

1. Illness

2. Illness of family member

3. Out of town

4. ? I’m having a memory lapse and can’t remember number four.

5. Personal business

Providing a reason is my least favorite part of this ritual. I hate it because I am not on contract, and even teachers on contract aren’t required to give a reason for their absences.

Here’s the thing: If I don’t provide a reason for declining a job the system will call me again with the same job offer. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds.

Yes, I’ve complained about this antiquated system. To Val, the sub clerk. And to my district’s superintendent whom I know from his time as a VP in my school. I also taught his son.

Still, I answered the phone when the call arrived Sunday evening. I listened to the job offer and my finger automatically selected one, informing me I’d be spending Monday in middle school ELA.

I questioned the sanity of agreeing to sub on a Monday following a long break, but I often feel guilty for saying NO, and by saying YES, I’m spared the menu of reasons for saying NO.

After receiving the job number and not writing it down, I texted my friend Debbie,who is the VP at the school where I’d be hanging out with sixth graders Monday:

The classroom teacher was in her room when I arrived Monday morning. She was glad to see me, and I had a good day despite the kid who said my gray hair made him mistake me for Ms. C.

Biggest challenge Monday: Trying to detangle this mess. I failed.

After all, gray hair marks me as antiquated, just like the out-of-date calling system.