In Search of an Unlocked Restroom #SOL24 #StaffordChallenge

Posted on by Glenda Funk

I’ve been here before—searching for a restroom.

At sporting events and at the theater, I scope out the nearest bathroom and memorize my section, row, and seat.

When flying, I orient myself by locating the closest lavatory.

On roadtrips I check the distance between rest areas and the closest town.

I like being prepared—to rest in the restroom, if you know what I mean.

My best laid bathroom plans defied me Monday when I found myself in H-hall maze at a local high school.

I tried the first restroom door I found.

Locked.

I tried the next restroom door, a faculty facility.

Locked. As I expected it would be.

I tried door number three.

Locked again.

I returned to Room 107 in H-Hall hell.

Five minutes before homeroom ended I left the class and trusted them to autopilot. I needed to pee and could not take the NO of locked doors.

I pulled all the handles. I’m not Wonder Woman, so the doors remained locked.

I scurried into the office and announced to the school secretary and a few innocent bystanders: “I need a restroom key now.”

“I don’t have anymore,” Grayson, the convivial secretary told me.

“I’m so pissed right now.” At the time I did not think about the pun inherent in my pronouncement. I needed to pee, and preferably not on myself.

“I’m sorry. I’ll unlock the door for you,” Grayson said in a kind, sympathetic voice.

“I don’t mind using the student restrooms, but they’re all locked,” I explained.

“They are.”

You see, the 21st Century smokin’ in the boys’ room is vaping in the bathroom. Sadly, it’s also practicing vandalism and tagging in the name of “I need to use the bathroom.”

The acts of a few inconvenience many—including keyless substitute teachers.

Anticipating the need for another bathroom break, I knocked on the locked lounge door at the end of lunch and hoped someone would answer. Two men were in the lounge. Lucky break since few teachers actually spend time in the teachers’ lounge, a fact that would likely surprise many.

Friends, I’ll take hunting for open restrooms in stadiums, in theaters, on airplanes, and along abandoned desert highways over the struggle to find an unlocked bathroom in a school any day.

*In the spirit of my school theme in this post, I wrote an ABECEDARIAN poem for today.

Published by Glenda Funk

I am a retired ELA and speech communication teacher w/ 38 years classroom experience, a NBCT, a Folger TSI alum, an aspiring poet, a dog and cat human, and a frequent traveler. Previously, I blogged at www.evolvingenglishteacher.blogspot.com. Find my senior English curriculum at www.betterlesson.com.

16 thoughts on “In Search of an Unlocked Restroom #SOL24 #StaffordChallenge”

  1. Glenda, my goodness! It looks like we were both on the abecedarian train this week. Your post has me nodding in understanding as we have the same challenges here in Georgia. Locked restrooms. I love the way you included so many educational words in your poem, and I think the truest may be right in the middle with the Ns. No books. No money. Now that schools are moving to only-approved high quality curriculums as the Science of Reading takes center stage, book choices, I fear, will be limited. The locked bathrooms govern the output, while legislation governs the input. It’s the world we live in, with too few keys. I feel like I’m with you, searching for some relief.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I read your post quickly this morning, shaking my head at all those locked doors and then nodding along and continuing to shake my head as I read your powerful abecedarian poem. This is a post that resonates…disturbingly so. I’ll be back to reread later when I have more time.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Every thing, everything, this is everything relatable! And full of the feeling, so much so that I felt the need to pee while reading – that urgency that makes one angry, and then you are afraid to laugh because, you know, you might leak.

    We don’t currently have bathrooms locked all the time, but we do have vaping problems for sure.

    And your poem at the end is so interesting – I’ll need to return to it once I’ve gone to the bathroom. I hope it’s not locked.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can totally relate to always knowing where a restroom is and appreciate the frustration when they are locked…especially in schools. Your poem was great…a paraphrase of education in a nutshell! I’m sharing with my son, a high school math teacher who is almost giving up hope. :/

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This line: I needed to pee and could not take the NO of locked doors.
    And then this one: “I’m so pissed right now.” At the time I did not think about the pun inherent in my pronouncement. I needed to pee, and preferably not on myself.
    Oh my! I roared!
    As someone who likes to know where the restrooms are, I could totally relate to all of this!
    BTW: May I use this post as a “Be Inspired” in March?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. There is nothing worse than locked bathroom doors at school – so hard on absolutely everyone. I feel as if it has always been so – this lack of trust of students, this misbehavior by one or two that ruins it for all. I have vague memories of this at my elementary – and vivid from high school (when you are menstruating, and can’t get in!!). I can still name my classmate in fourth grade who couldn’t hold his pee. Oh my. I worked at a great school in D.C. where the teachers ALWAYS had access to bathrooms (and students, too – though we had to have adult monitors…). Sorry, lol, I am rambling here – practically writing my own slice. Your abecedarian is marvelously detailed and thoughtful about education…that “N is for No” really got to me – so true, so challenging.

    Like

  7. Wow. Your poem is a manifesto for education. And restrooms – yikes! I am retired but I play in several community music groups, including one that rehearses at a high school that has a metal detector that students must walk through. Thank goodness the restrooms aren’t locked though.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Access to a bathroom really is a must. I think the older I get the more this becomes true as the body has learned that it can no longer hold it after 42.5 years of trying to gauge the right time to relieve myself. Your poem has so many layers of issues education faces. I felt particularly moved by the voucher system reference. You’ve created a striking image with your poem and words and have established a fantastic rhythm with the poem. Kudos!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi Glenda! I could totally relate to this post as I am always trying to scout out a bathroom too. Locked doors feel like an anxiety dream! So much voice and so much to appreciate in this post.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. The school I retired from (and I frequent as a sub) recently locked the teacher lounge. It’s unlocked with a district ID tag, as are the keycard-enabled outside doors. (The classrooms each have an actual key needed to unlock the doors.) I have this district ID tag, which opens exactly nothing. Annoying! But at least our bathrooms are unlocked!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Wow, this slice about locked doors (with a poem to boot) is a powerful snapshot of the state of education. I felt the necessity every step of your journey. Because of locked doors for lockdowns, I’ve invested in portable pee bags/containers… smh.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Wow! You pack a powerful twofer in this post. Love the poem and how you paint dire pictures alongside values and beliefs. The locked bathrooms so anger me– when will we treat all people, children and women and teachers and teenagers, humanely? Insidious power at play when schools deny folks access to bathrooms. If safety or vandalism is the issue there must be other solutions… right?! Glad you found relief in time!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I often wonder how much vandalism is a way to be heard. MLK said riots are the language of the oppressed, or something similar to that. People who aren’t heard or who feel unheard, will find a way.

      Like

Leave a comment